Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

November is National Novel Writing Month, where aspiring writers try to crank out 50,000 words over the course of the month. With all of my current attempts to siphon my ongoing writing projects down to a meager one or two, combined with the usual frenetic activity that comes with pretending like I know how to run a retail kiosk, I sadly doubt I'll be participating. But that doesn't mean I can't recommend this project to anyone else reading this little bit of nowhere.

If you like to write, or want a challenge for the artistic side of your brain, check out the Link of the Day: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

But if I learn you've been using this as an excuse to write that epic Cthulhu/Harry Potter/Indiana Jones crossover (complete with lurid sex scenes involving a Deep One, Snape and a bunch of Nazis), I'm afraid I'm going to have to bludgeon you with a rabid weasel.


posted by Phillip at 9:05 PM

 

November is National Novel Writing Month, where aspiring writers try to crank out 50,000 words over the course of the month. With all of my current attempts to siphon my ongoing writing projects down to a meager one or two, combined with the usual frenetic activity that comes with pretending like I know how to run a retail kiosk, I sadly doubt I'll be participating. But that doesn't mean I can't recommend this project to anyone else reading this little bit of nowhere.

If you like to write, or want a challenge for the artistic side of your brain, check out the Link of the Day: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

But if I learn you've been using this as an excuse to write that epic Cthulhu/Harry Potter/Indiana Jones crossover (complete with lurid sex scenes involving a Deep One, Snape and a bunch of Nazis), I'm afraid I'm going to have to bludgeon you with a rabid weasel.


posted by Phillip at 8:37 PM

 

As few days ago, I watched a most amusing commercial for some kind of large super-sized truck complete with all the fancy schmancy extra features: fold-back rear seats, cup holders, A/C, and those small TV you can watch porn on while you're driving. Now what happened in this commercial was that in the faraway distance, a volcano erupted. Seconds later, debris starts raining down in the foreground. Amidst that debris sudden drops said truck, which is now covered in ash. After giving the ol' shocks a good what-for, the truck casually starts up and drives off, leaving the happy volcano behind to fire hot molten lava all over the local towns.

Now I know what you're thinking: if the term "putting on the Ritz" was interpreted literally, does that mean for a night on the town, some guys take Ritz crackers and wear them like a tuxedo? For that matter, would those Cheese Ritz-Bits be the best kind, since the cheese filling will make for a good adhesive to the skin? And once they've covered themselves in the Ritz, would problems arise once they went outside and the pigeons came after them?

The world may never know.

If you're not thinking that, then you're probably asking, "What's so amusing about that commercial thing?" Well, the commercial unto itself didn't amuse me. But the disclaimer appearing in it did; you need the volcanic context first. I cannot help but wonder just what kind of idiot it took for them to insert Warning: dropping trucks is safe only in commercials.

Are they fearful that after seeing this commercial, some soon-to-be Darwin Award nominee would sit up and say, "Hey! That looked so cool! Let's take Grandpa's truck, drive it into an active volcano and see how far it spits us out when it finally erupts! And on the way, we'll smear ourselves with Ritz-bits!"

Are we doomed to soon see a new disclaimer being added into "The Wizard of Oz" movie that reads Warning: dropping houses on witches is safe only in movies? And if this continues, we might yet see a disclaimer being plastered all over the Lupin III series telling us Warning: not obeying the laws of physics is safe only in Anime. It might reach newfound heights as they scream at us on CDs Warning: letting the piano drink is safe only in Tom Waits songs! And what about the Swedish chainsaws that already have the label Warning: do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hand or genitals?

In the end, I don't think it's the disclaimers themselves that worry me. It's the idiots who inspire them.

Today's Warning: ranting about silly, nonsensical things is safe only in blogs.


posted by Phillip at 6:50 AM